|
|
6am. And I'm still at aforementioned lounge, and getting very bored. Even the Internet can only entertain you so much when you can't download or save anything.
Have a crappy piece of fiction I wrote in half an hour instead.
- once more, with feeling -
The first time, I don’t even see it.
It’s only when people start screaming, and the teachers begin running out of their classrooms, that I realise something’s wrong at all.
It doesn’t register, even when I see the body lying there in a pool of blood. It doesn’t register, even when I stare into her sightless eyes and someone tries to pull me away.
It’s only when I check my phone, and see her last message, that it begins to sink in. I read it again, then again, then again.
Slowly, quietly, I begin to cry.
--
The second time, I can’t find her.
I run through the school, looking for her. She’s not in class, but there’s still any number of places she could be at. Somewhere high, I know, but where? Where?
And then I remember the fire escape, and it takes me nearly five minutes to remember how to break in.
And when I finally manage to find the door, I open it just in time to see her fall.
I don’t remember screaming, but when I run to the edge and stare down at her body, my throat is raw. I quickly pull my head back to avoid being seen, and as I lean against the cool wall, I again feel something wet spilling out of my eyes.
--
The third time, I barely make it.
I run up to the fire escape the moment I can, and as I open the door, I see her standing at the edge.
I shout, and she turns, and--
She steps backwards, mouthing something, and I lunge for her.
Our fingers brush, just for that slight moment before gravity takes hold and she is pulled away. I don’t want to see her fall, so I draw back.
There’re voices outside, approaching, but I don’t really care.
I continue leaning against the wall, staring at where she was standing. Somehow, it bothers me that I’m not crying.
--
The fourth time, it’s the same.
I miss her hand, and again she falls.
Again, I wonder why I’m not crying.
--
The fifth time, it happens again.
It’s as if this was fated.
--
The sixth time, I’m too slow.
She falls before I can even open the door.
--
The seventh time, I don’t bother.
It hurts, but I pretend otherwise.
--
The eighth time...
--
…
--
…
--
I’ve forgotten how many times it’s been already.
This time, I go through the motion of going up there once more.
This time, I see her standing at the edge, and she sees me watching.
This time, I do nothing.
This time, she doesn’t step back, but instead collapses, sobbing, and without knowing why, I find my arms around her.
This time, I begin to cry.
fin.
Airport lounges are both boring and awesome. Awesome in that they have free food, and a lot of it. Boring in that there's nothing but said food, tables and a few computers. Which is what I'm typing this from.
It's 5.30am or so. My brain seems unable to decide whether it ought to be sleepy or excited, especially given the grand total of zero hours of sleep it got last night. No thanks to Minecraft, especially multiplayer.
On another note, soda water by itself tastes weird. And they serve wine here, which I would go for if people weren't likely to stop me.
Time to check Tumblr. I should really go there less often, but meh.
Aha~n.
Exactly What It Says On The Tin Title
Still ended up formatting the partition anyway. Which might have been a bad idea, seeing as attempts to install xubuntu 11.04 keep failing.
At this rate, I might just move back to Windows.
Aha~n.
Had to reformat my hard drive and all that, but meh. Still in the process of restoring my settings.
Except that I think I accidentally wiped xubuntu while installing. Oops. Well, it's not like I had much on there. (I think.)
Just finished stalking various utaite's Twitter watching one of them play Minecraft live. Now I'm glad I got a Twitter so I can stalk them better.
Ah, whatever. I'm sleepy and I think I'm going to mind losing all my xubuntu data a lot more once I'm fully awake. Because I just found that the partition that used to contain it is empty. Time to sleep.
Aha~n.